Babe Ruth is a legend. He has hit more home runs than anyone else in history behind Hank Aaron and Barry Bonds*. All three players are notorious for slamming balls out of the park… but are just as notorious for striking out. They are 1, 2, and 3 all-time for HRs, but are also ranked 44, 87, and 104 as all time strike-out leaders. Fact: When you swing for the fences all the time, you are going to strike out more often. Anyone who plays baseball knows that a player who can consistently get on base is better for the team than a player who hits the occasional home run. The same principle is true in marriage: a husband that intentionally makes small, daily deposits in his marriage does more for his marriage than the husband who sweeps his wife off her feet with epically romantic get-aways twice a year… yet neglects the day to day investments. With that in mind, here are 10 ways to get on base that you can do this week:
1. Say I love you. Say it often, and say it like you mean it. These three little words go a long way when you look your wife in the eyes (not just on your way to work or when you’re getting off the phone) and when you say it with some unction!
2. Hold her hand. I know this is straight out of the third grade handbook for picking up chicks on the playground, but little things like making the effort to physically touch your wife (not leading to sex) go a long way in her book… even if it doesn’t in yours.
3. Do the dishes. Or vacuum. Or do the laundry. Or change a diaper when she wasn’t expecting you to. Wives dig husbands who actually get their hands dirty around the house.
4. Show an interests in her interests. Even if you could care less about the latest Pinterest post, engage and ask questions about why your wife is excited about it. Showing interest and placing values on what she does will help you connect and show her you care.
5. Tell her what you love about her. This could be anything from the way she looks today to why she is a great mom. A good marriage is constantly peppered with encouragement. Be the strongest voice of encouragement in your wife’s life. Don’t let someone else take the lead here.
6. Write her love notes. Listen guys, you don’t have to be Shakespeare so don’t write this off just yet. Even a quick, “Thinking about you!” or “You still make my heart race when I see you” note goes a long way. It is an extra step that makes her feel special when she finds it on her steering wheel or on the bathroom mirror when she wakes up.
7. Give her “Mommy time”. You really want to bless your wife? Give her a Saturday afternoon off. Take the kids to the park or send your wife away from a few hours. Time to herself is a valued and often neglected element of motherhood.
8. Get her little gifts. You don’t have to break the bank, but little things like flowers, a book she has wanted, or chocolates show you took the extra step because you were thinking of her.
9. Plan an activity you both like to do. Again, taking the initiative is key; find something you both like doing, such as playing a game or going on a bike ride and set it up. Take care of the childcare or whatever needs to happen to make this work.
10. Use technology to your advantage. Trust me when I say your wife loves to hear from you when there is no agenda. This could be a quick text, a post on her facebook wall, a letter, an email, or a “Just thinking of you” call. Even one of these quick touches shows that you were thinking of her throughout the day and that she is on your mind.
Samurai Challenge: Hit a “base hit” every day this week. Try to do something special for your wife for 7 consecutive days.
*I personally don’t count Bonds since he used steroids… just sayin.