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Marriage and Submission (Part 1/2)

Chess: Husband and Wife Submission Submission.  Are we going to go there?  Why yes, yes we are.  Hope you are ready for this two part series as I tread on some dangerous territory, especially as a male author… Read more »


Marriage Is Not About Your Happiness (Part 3/3)

Ephesians 5 Husband and Wife SubmissionYou remember those WWJD bracelets?  Well I am not saying go out and buy one, but burn that into your mind and make that your mantra when it comes to making decisions as a husband.  Just remember: it’s not about you.  That simple shift will revolutionize the way you view your marriage and role in it.  Jesus was a servant king.  He did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life.[1]  That is the call of a husband to his wife.  It’s not about you.

The crazy thing is that it isn’t about your wife either.  It’s all about Jesus. Read more »


Marriage Is Not About Your Happiness (Part 2/3)

Ephesians 5 Husband and Wife SubmissionHave you ever asked people what they think the purpose of marriage is?  You may be surprised at what kind of answers you get.  Look it up on a google search and you find all kinds of answers: “tax breaks”, “to raise a family”, “stability”, and “to keep divorce attorneys making triple digits” are just a few of the answers you will actually find!  One (legitimate) survey was done by the Pew Research Center in July of 2007 that polled over 2,000 random selected participants in the United States and asked them a series of questions about marriage.  Do you know what the #1 answer was for what these randomly selected people was when they asked what the purpose of marriage was? Read more »


Marriage Is Not About Your Happiness (Part 1/3)

Ephesians 5 Husband and Wife SubmissionSubmit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  – Ephesians 5:21, NIV 

In this series, we are going to explore the first verse of Paul’s famous exhortation to husband and wives and hopefully debunk a lot of confusing and misread verses in the process…. Read more »


Creating A Culture of Appreciation

Appreciation for the little things your wife doesEveryone wants to be appreciated and get recognition.  It goes back to when you were little and lived for the moment your parent or teacher praised you for something you did right.  And we never really grow out of this; we just mask it better as we get older.  But the truth remains that we all like to be applauded for things we do right.  And this is such a key element in your marriage… creating a culture of appreciation will save you from countless fights and misunderstandings. Read more »


Ask the Samurai: Relationship & Marriage Q&A

Samurai Husband HelmetSince starting this blog, I have had a lot of questions on marriage from both men and women.  A lot of these questions are ones that I thought to myself, “This would be good for other people to hear!”  So I am starting an ongoing Samurai Q&A; so if you have any questions or topics that have not gotten covered so far in the blog, this is the post to ask them in!  Simply write a comment in the “Leave a Reply” box below and depending on the nature of the question, either I or my wife will answer.  I am sure someone else is wanting to ask the exact same thing…

Responses will be in the form of a returned comment, so be sure to check back and see the answer.  If it is one that we feel should get some extra attention, we will write another post specifically addressing that question.

So ask away…


A Base Hit is Better Than a Home Run

Baseball First BaseBabe Ruth is a legend.   He has hit more home runs than anyone else in history behind Hank Aaron and Barry Bonds*.   All three players are notorious for slamming balls out of the park… but are just as notorious for striking out.   They are 1, 2, and 3 all-time for HRs, but are also ranked 44, 87, and 104 as all time strike-out leaders.  Fact: When you swing for the fences all the time, you are going to strike out more often.  Anyone who plays baseball knows that a player who can consistently get on base is better for the team than a player who hits the occasional home run.   The same principle is true in marriage: a husband that intentionally makes small, daily deposits in his marriage does more for his marriage than the husband who sweeps his wife off her feet with epically romantic get-aways twice a year… yet neglects the day to day investments.  With that in mind, here are 10 ways to get on base that you can do this week: Read more »


How to Fight (Part 3 of 3): What and How to Say It

Boxing GlovesHave you ever been so upset that you said something really stupid and as soon as it left your mouth you wish you could take it back?  Once it is out there, however, the damage is done.  There is no turning back once you let those words fly.  This is especially true in your marriage when emotions are heated and a fight is about to ensue.  So how do you train yourself not to get to this point?  What are some ways to guarantee this doesn’t happen again?  Here are a few Samurai tricks of the trade: Read more »


How to Fight (Part 2 of 3): The Low Road

Boxing GlovesThe Bible says, “Agree with your adversary quickly”; how much more should this be true with your spouse?  Learning how to take the low road of humility is an absolutely critical piece in learning how to stop the fight before it even begins. By swallowing your pride and agreeing with your spouse when you have a disagreement, you will save yourself a world of trouble… and save yourself countless unnecessary fights.  Here are a few ways to ensure that  you take the low road and reap the benefits of doing so: Read more »


How to Fight (Part 1 of 3): The Green Zone

Boxing GlovesEver had something that you needed to tell your spouse but you know that if you do, it is pretty much a 100% chance that an argument is going to break out?  How do you fight fair?  How do you get to the root of the issue without having an all out brawl?  What do you do when there is clearly a misunderstanding but it is a sensitive subject that you know is going to bring up some emotions and a potentially heated argument?  You enter into what my wife and I call “the green zone.” Read more »